Sydney’s total tommy transforms personal evolution into guitar-driven catharsis on her debut album ‘bruises’. Read the latest cover feature for our New Music Friday edit PLAY.
Words: Stephen Ackroyd.
Photos: Andrea Veltom.
Some artists arrive fully formed. Others take the scenic route, collecting bruises and stories along the way. total tommy – the musical alias of Sydney’s Jess Holt – firmly belongs in the latter camp, and aren’t we all the better for it?
“It’s almost summer here in Australia, which means it’s afternoon beer garden weather again. The actual best,” Holt reflects, basking in the sunshine that feels like the perfect backdrop for discussing ‘bruises’, a debut album that treats vulnerability less like a confessional and more like a celebration. As the antipodean summer beckons, she’s probably raising a glass to the whirlwind year that’s transformed her from a bedroom artist with a drawer full of unreleased tracks to one of indie rock’s most compelling new voices.
‘bruises’ lands at a moment when guitar music is having what marketing types might call “a moment,” but what the rest of us might recognise as a full-blown renaissance. Channelling the raw spirit of influences like Garbage and Silverchair through a thoroughly modern lens, it’s the kind of record that feels both entirely of its time and completely untethered from it – like finding a mixtape from an alternate universe where grunge never died, it just got better at processing its feelings.
“All of those things flooded me with so many new experiences, emotions, fear, and excitement! It’s really been a time,” Holt reflects on the whirlwind period that shaped the album. That “time” she’s referring to reads like a coming-of-age film synopsis: moving cities, coming out as queer, finding love, getting married – the kind of life changes that either break you or remake you entirely. For Holt, they became the catalyst for some of the most visceral, honest songwriting you’ll hear this year.
Music was always going to be Holt’s destiny, though. “I grew up in a very music-loving family,” she explains. “My brother drums, so we used to jam a bit together. I got my first guitar at 14 and taught myself a few chords, and from there, writing songs just became a natural thing. I had a lot of feelings when I was 14!” Those teenage feelings and intuitive approach to musicianship would eventually coalesce into something spectacular, but not before taking a few detours.
“I had an indie pop project for a couple of years that was a lot of fun,” Holt reveals, “but it stopped feeling like me, so I took time to work out what I wanted to say and make and then total tommy arrived!” That arrival wasn’t just a new project – it was a homecoming to the rock music that had always felt like her true north.
The journey from conception to release wasn’t exactly a sprint. “It almost killed me having to sit on the music for so long before releasing – last year was pretty frustrating just waiting and waiting. But this year has been an actual dream, so I’m glad we waited to get it right.” That patience has paid off in spades. ‘bruises’ arrives gloriously unfettered, each track feeling like a perfectly preserved moment of revelation.
“I actually had most of the record ready to go by the time the first single, ‘microdose’, came out,” Holt explains. “That song, in particular, felt like the perfect kick-off point for total tommy. Sonically, that song was everything I wanted this project to be. It makes me feel something, you know?” With its moody, brooding guitars and skittish drum machine, ‘microdose’ set the template for everything that would follow – a perfect distillation of dizzy angst and raw emotion.
The live shows have become a crucial testing ground for these songs, allowing them to evolve beyond their recorded forms. “We’ve played so many shows this year so it’s been nice to have people start to get to know some of the songs on the record.” There’s something beautifully circular about this – songs born in bedrooms finding their way to stages where they can truly breathe.
“Now I just trust my instincts and roll with decision-making”
The vulnerability in these tracks hits differently now that they’re out in the world. “It used to scare me, but now I’m excited!” Holt says about sharing such personal narratives. This newfound confidence manifests in powerful moments of connection. “I shared a song on the record with a friend just last night, actually. She hugely inspired it, and I’d been really worried to show her in case I hadn’t done her journey justice. But she loves it and thanked me for it, which feels really special.”
When it comes to favourites, two tracks currently stand out in the live setting: “Right now, it’s ‘Losing Out’ and ‘ADELINE’. They’re favourites of mine in our live set, and playing them to audiences kind of unlocked a new dimension with how I feel about them. ‘Losing Out’ is pretty angry, but it’s a good kind of angry!” While ‘Losing Out’ channels righteous fury through crunching guitars, ‘ADELINE’ offers something more introspective – a letter to her younger self that feels like a universal embrace.
This growth extends to Holt’s creative decision-making, too. When asked about what ‘feeling like an adult’ means to her, she offers wisdom that many artists spend decades trying to achieve: “I think just trusting what feels good. I used to look to other people for advice a lot, especially creatively. Now I just trust my instincts and roll with decision-making that way!”
The future stretches out like an endless summer afternoon for total tommy, with festival stages and international adventures beckoning. “Honestly, I’d just love for it to open the door to play more shows both in Australia, but also worldwide,” Holt says of her hopes for the album. “Touring with my band is my favourite thing in the world.”
Her current musical obsessions read like a who’s who of guitar music’s bright future. “Ah, there’s so many! Momma is huge for me at the moment. Fazerdaze’s new record is wild. I also love Fontaines DC and Wunderhorse. And NewDad!” she enthuses. “I’m loving guitar music more than ever, and it’s an AMAZING time for it right now.” It’s fitting company for an artist who’s helping to write the next chapter of indie-rock’s evolution.
‘bruises’ isn’t just a debut album – it’s a time capsule of transformation, a reminder that the best art often comes from periods of profound change. “We finished the record around July this year, but I’ve had some of these songs for close to three years now. It feels SO good to have it out in the world.” From the swagger of ‘Spider’ to the sweeping synths of ‘REAL’, each track captures a different facet of becoming – sometimes messy, sometimes magnificent, always unmistakably real.
And really, isn’t that what the best guitar music has always done? Given us the soundtrack for our own moments of becoming, our own collected bruises and triumphs? If that’s the measure, then total tommy isn’t just adding to the conversation – she’s helping to write its next chapter. Just make sure you’re there to witness it, preferably in a sun-drenched beer garden with a cold drink in hand and these songs turning strangers into conspirators in the great adventure of figuring it all out.
total tommy’s album ‘bruises’ is out now.
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