Yes, Dear Reader. while the music press at large concerns itself with such weighty matters as artistic evolution and genre deconstruction, we’re over here asking the really important questions.
Have you ever had a nemesis who didn’t know they were your nemesis?
No – I can be civil, but if you’re my nemesis, you’ll know about it.
What’s your most niche, useless talent?
I don’t know if this counts as a talent, but I can list all of the US states and their capitals. I learned them when I was bored in my early teenage years. I often do it when I’m stressed out, to order my brain.
What’s the strangest compliment you’ve ever been given?
There was a time in my life during which I had to get a lot of blood tests, and the nurse or doctor would always tell me my veins were easy to find.
What is your earliest memory?
I remember going into the garden to get a birthday present, and it was a doll’s house, but now I’m wondering if it was a dream.
What’s a food combo you swear by, even though everyone else thinks it’s horrific?
A bagel with tomato purée. It’s like having a pizza for lunch. I only do it in a pinch, and always at my parents’ house, because they always have tomato purée.
If you could swap lives with any person for 24 hours, who would you pick?
Jeff Bezos – I’d transfer all the money out of his accounts to charities, every single penny. Wow, what a delicious thought.
What’s the most ridiculous rumour you’ve ever heard about yourself?
I can’t remember hearing any rumours about myself. I try to be oblivious.
What food do you irrationally hate even though you’ve never properly tried it?
I would only say I hated something after trying it.
What’s your go-to pointless procrastination activity?
Nothing unique – scrolling.
Have you ever seen a ghost?
No, but once when I was a child, I woke up in the middle of the night and was convinced I could see spirits. Maybe that’s the same thing, I don’t know.
What’s the most dramatic thing you’ve done to get out of something?
When I was about three, I lied to my mum that I was ill so I could stay home from nursery and play with my new glitter.
What’s the most unnecessarily expensive thing you’ve ever bought?
I don’t really do big purchases. I fritter my money away on books, slowly but surely.
What’s the pettiest hill you’ll absolutely die on?
‘And Just Like That’ is an extremely enjoyable show. I get so mad when people hate on it.
What’s your most oddly specific fear?
Other than sharks, most of my fears are too dark and sad for a quick-fire round.
If you could replace all pigeons with another animal, what would it be?
Manatees.
How far could you run, if your life depended on it?
Without having to do a bit of walking to catch my breath? Right now, probably between five and seven kilometres, if my life really depended on it.
What’s something you secretly wish people asked you about more often?
Books. The only thing I properly enjoy talking about, when it comes to myself at least, is what I’ve been reading.
What did you last dream about?
Taylor Swift – who obviously doesn’t know I exist, by the way – texted me to tell me she was touring in Brazil and Jamaica.
Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character?
You would think I would have. But no.
What’s the dumbest injury you’ve ever had?
Breaking my little toe after stubbing it. Little toes are so irrelevant.
If we gave you £10, what would you spend it on?
Crisps.
If you could have a cameo in any historical event, where would you pop up?
None of them. Like my grandma always said, there’s no such thing as the good old days.
What’s the weirdest thing you believed as a child?
There’s this mythical guy who supposedly gives presents to children at Christmas, I don’t know if you’ve heard of him. But I was big into him being real. I still hold out hope.
What was your most unhinged fan era for another artist?
I was wildly insane about Beyoncé when I was 13ish. Still am.
What’s the last thing you broke?
One of my roommate’s plates – although it was really the sink’s fault, not mine.
What is the best present you’ve ever been given?
When my first album Hope Handwritten came out in February, my parents gave me a book-shaped locket with ‘HH’ engraved on it – it has the album name and release date on a little piece of paper inside.
How punk are you out of ten?
Four, I’d say.
If you could win a lifetime supply of anything, what would you choose?
Quavers!
If you had to write a warning label for yourself, what would it say?
Something about needing a sweet treat after every meal, including breakfast.
Tell us a boring fact about yourself.
I drink a lot of ginger tea.
Taken from the September 2025 issue of Dork.
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