From cartoon characters to real-life revelations, illuminati hotties’ Sarah Tudzin is turning up the volume on vulnerability. And she’s not afraid to get loud about it. Check out our latest Dork Mixtape cover feature.
Words: Steven Loftin.
Photos: Shervin Lainez.
Musical mastermind Sarah Tuzdin hardly needs an introduction, having been recording spritely punk under the moniker illuminati hotties for a little over seven years now. But on ‘POWER’, her upcoming fourth album, she’s introducing herself to the world for the first time. It’s not been an easy ride getting to this point. Over the last few years, Sarah’s found herself in a reoccurring theme of liminal spaces, from being between a rock and a hard place before the release of her second album (her then label, Tiny Engines, was accused of unscrupulous financial behaviours leading to a boycotting, and one of illuminati hotties most treasured – albeit accidental – records, ‘Free I.H.’ filling the contractual obligations instead), to now, waiting for her new album to drop where this newly unfurled version of herself can be free.
It’s all been a developmental process. Previously, illuminati hotties has allowed Sarah to process a bunch of things without directly facing them head-on. “When I started this project, it was a bit more character acting,” she explains. “I guess all three albums have a cartoon character version of myself that is talking about real stuff at arm’s length to be able to be vulnerable or in a way where I can still cover it up with cleverness.” This time, as she puts it, “The way I was writing the songs became a bit closer to the truth of me as a person as opposed to the girl hiding behind the illuminati hotties.”
Looking back on this process now, Sarah is incredibly fond of it. “It’s a great place to write from,” she says. “I think that I love to write from a place of fiction, too, and a place of sort of punk surrealism. But this record, hopefully, will take us to a greater audience just because I think to let more people in, you have to reveal a little more.”
Deciding to face things head-on this time around was a learning curve. Sarah acknowledges that facing things head-on is, “A little scarier, just because the subject matters became scarier.” Previously, she was avoiding certain topics, particularly when in conversation with herself, including the death of her mother a few years prior. “I just had been avoiding my internal dialogue for a long time,” Sarah says. “So I picked up a practice of writing every day in a way to trick myself… [and] at a certain point I couldn’t ignore what, internally, I was feeling even though I was trying to say a million other things or trying to think of other things to say.”
There was an initial reluctance. Having to actively trick herself into penning such close-to-home lyrics, there was a grey area that arose. “I’m the first person to say, don’t let truth get in the way of good art,” she chuckles. “If you need to fudge the details to make the art better, that is what art is all about. That being said, there’s this through-line of truth that, as much as I tried not to do it, it snuck its way in when I was finishing lyrics and was spitballing on concepts.”
It’s also reflected in the sounds of ‘POWER’. Being so self-focused is undoubtedly easier when there’s a cacophony acting as a shield between you and whoever else is listening in. Sarah confirms as much: “It’s so much easier to deal with insecurity if there’s a confident element that’s happening in the music, and it doesn’t really feel disguised by it. But it does feel a little bit less freaky to go there,” she explains. “My favourite songwriters of all time are stereotypically sad people. But the thing they do best, and the reason their music works so well, is because they have a sense of humour about it, and it’s not just earnest trauma dumping or something. They’re dealing with real emotions, and they’re able to put a couple of details in there that make us feel more human about it and not like we’re being hammered over the head with one emotion.”
“To let more people in, you have to reveal a little more”
Sarah Tuzdin
One element that stuck out to Sarah about the current musical climate was the loudness – or lack thereof. During the early stages of ‘POWER’, Sarah was digging into the 2000s back pages, including the likes of The Shins and their twee-bombast. “I feel like music is really afraid to be loud, but there was an era of indie-rock that wasn’t afraid to be very loud even in its softest moments,” she explains. “Those songs feel like quiet songs, but the recordings, and how it got played to a festival of tens of thousands of people… Like, ‘New Shin’ goes off! And it’s because it’s fucking loud.”
illuminati hotties are aiming to be the antithesis of the current trend of softly sung, intimately quiet pop, “Which I totally respect, but I’m going for loudness, even in moments of vulnerability,” she clarifies. This moment comes fairly promptly. ‘POWER”s second track, ‘I Would Like, Still Love You’, daintily describes various scenes (each progressively worse than the last) wherein Sarah would still love an unnamed recipient until the saccharine chorus cascades a wave of sweetly layered guitars into a wall of sound sticky enough to jump up and give your best Spiderman impression.
‘POWER’ also features two-time Dork cover star Cavetown on ‘Didn’t’. Recalling this coming together, Sarah mentions that the track, “Lived in an unfinished space, like it was in song purgatory for a really long time.” Toiling away on it, she finally decided it needed a feature. Reaching out to Cavetown, who just so happened to be in LA at the time, this happenstance allowed the track to flourish. “He came with such beautiful harmony ideas and wrote this verse that is amazing and totally fits the vibe.”
No stranger to collaborating, Sarah has had her hand in various projects as an engineer and producer over the years. With boygenius, Slowdive, Weyes Blood, Pom Pom Squad and Porches on her resume, she’s adept at executing a vision of creative independence. With all this, it’s beyond evident music is a pure love for Sarah. “The reason I make music is because from a young age, music spoke to me and I connected to records that I loved, or that stood out to me and so it became the natural path for expression for me,” she explains.
When she feels a deep connection with music she hopes people find the same in illuminati hotties. It’s this thought that spurs her on – breaking through another space, this time between creation and connection. “When I get to go see a show that connects, or when I listen to an album, that inspires me – it’s all the more reason to keep making music,” she says. “I’m constantly trying to discover new music and things that make me excited to make more music. It has a huge impact on how I create when I get to go see bands that I love play or listen to new stuff that speaks to me.”
Dismantling all of these liminal spaces has given Sarah moments to relish who she is and who she can be. It’s all rooted in taking things back home, back to Sarah Tudzin. She’s realised that even if she were just writing for herself, ultimately, her art would fulfil her, but there’s that additional element, that hook that every artist finds sinking its sharp edge in. “There’s so much more of me that’s fulfilled by genuine connection and reaching out to people and hoping that they feel like they’re hearing themselves and that they’re a part of a cool club or something,” she laughs. “That they’re part of a movement of music by listening to my band or whatever other music that they love.”
It’s crossed her mind that maybe illuminati hotties doesn’t need to be a full-force touring band, as Sarah notes, “There are a lot of musicians I admire who never stepped foot in front of people, and they’re happy to just noodle into oblivion, which in some ways I am, too.” But, when it comes to introducing yourself back into the world, there’s no better place than that spiritually liminal zone where the world stops for a couple of hours, and everyone exists in a moment at a gig. “Not as an artist, but as a human, I think I am a little uncomfortable being perceived. But, when it’s time to step on stage, it’s like stepping into a superhuman version of myself. The most extroverted, outgoing version of myself is validated by that and does feel like I’m sharing an experience with people who get it.” ■
illuminati hotties’ album ‘POWER’ is out now. Follow Dork Mixtape on Spotify here.
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