Content:
Back with a debut EP for new solo endeavour Heavenshe, and with Tonight Alive about to ride again, Jenna McDougall is sure of one thing – she’s all in. Check out our latest Upset cover story.
Words: Ali Shutler.
“I’m always going to look for the light,” says Jenna McDougall. It was true across Tonight Alive’s defiant, sprawling four-album back catalogue, and it’s the same for her new solo project, Heavenshe. Still, while Tonight Alive spent their time craving hope, Heavenshe’s debut EP ‘Wild Wild Heart’ is more sure of itself, written from the midway point of healing from hurt. “It reflects the transcendence of the pain,” says Jenna. “The songs definitely have that hopeful, lighter energy.”
Heavenshe was announced 18 months ago with the bitter, sweet ‘No One Will Ever Love You’, and last week, she released the glorious ‘Wild Wild Heart’. The six tracks are “historic” to Heavenshe, written at pivotal times in the project’s evolution, and lay the foundations for what comes next.
“I wanted to display diversity in energies, but cohesiveness was also really important,” says Jenna. “The EP is a curated collection of songs that would allow me to get on stage as soon as possible because I wasn’t prepared to wait.”
“At the same time, they all felt really organic,” she continues, with each one created in bedroom sweatpants songwriting sessions. “It didn’t feel grandiose in the moment; it was more like sitting down to write in your journal,” Jenna says with each one capturing “a very natural, honest moment with myself. I’m the sole songwriter and finding the confidence to do that without other people involved was really vital in becoming Heavenshe,” she adds.
Written over a three-year space, the ‘Wild Wild Heart’ EP explores “coming out of one relationship, starting a new relationship and all the baggage you bring with you,” says Jenna. “It’s about creating a safe, gentle space while processing the grief of something you didn’t ever imagine ending but was ultimately causing you pain.” The huge, joyful ‘These Days’ celebrates the end of your 20s, while the simmering ‘Trying Not To Feel’ is about reclaiming choice and control.
The title-track for ‘Wild Wild Heart’ was written back in 2018 while Tonight Alive were touring their fourth album, ‘Underworld’. “It just didn’t feel like a Tonight Alive song,” admits Jenna, with the song coming as a stream of consciousness that summed up a “dense” experience in two verses and a chorus. “I didn’t think that was even possible,” grins Jenna. “It felt very liberating. It was the defining moment in letting me know that a new project would have to happen eventually. Maybe there was a different future, a complementary future that I wasn’t aware of yet.”
‘No One Will Ever Love You’ came next, helping define the shape of the project, which pulls influence from The War On Drugs and Bob Dylan. The rest of the songs came after Jenna was locked down in her Melbourne apartment with a second-hand piano she’d got for $100. “I’ve never really played piano before, so I would put my hands down and just see what they wanted to play,” says Jenna, with lush, expansive songs like ‘Dear Life’ coming out of that free-form experiment. “It was a really tender thing to write about, wanting to protect somebody because they’ve come into the relationship with such a pure heart, but you know you’ve just come out of a tornado,” adds Jenna.
Across the record, Jenna is never scared about being soft. “There’s power in vulnerability, but we underestimate that,” she says. “I hope that being so vulnerable and honest gives licence for other people to do the same. I want to create a soundtrack to a liberating, validating experience.”
“There’s power in vulnerability, but we underestimate that”
Jenna McDougall
Releasing this EP “really solidifies Heavenshe as more than some people probably expected it to be,” Jenna explains. “It’s not just a hobby or a side-project. I have a really strong vision for where I want to go next. And I’m very hungry to create.” If all things go to plan, Jenna will spend the start of 2024 in a garage with her band. “It sounds lo-fi, but I’ve developed such a feeling of safety, celebration and resonance with them,” she explains. “I’d love to put out an album next year, and I’m in the process of expanding my team,” with the first era of Heavenshe completely independent and DIY. “I’m ready to take it to the next level of potential.”
“There’s only so much you can develop a project on a Google doc or in a studio,” says Jenna, with a string of live shows across Australia spurring on the evolution of Heavenshe. “My confidence has grown so much since I started touring,” she admits. “It’s so affirming being on stage, knowing you’ve helped someone unlock feelings within themselves, and they’re going to leave the gig in a more positive, uplifting state. It makes me feel like I’m doing the right thing and contributing something useful to the world.”
That string of shows has also helped Jenna reconnect to her roots. She joined Tonight Alive when she was still in school, and the band set about escaping their hometown and then their home country as quickly as possible. Those angsty, teenage ambitions paid off, with Tonight Alive spending the next decade touring the world, but for Heavenshe, Jenna wanted to nurture her connection to the local scene.
“I’m going to hold firm to the big dreams that I’ve got, but I’ve been humbled by how fulfilled you can be in front of fewer people, with less attention on the project,” says Jenna. She admits that for previous projects, she aspired for “such perfection and strong receptions” but has realised how damaging those expectations can be. “It stops you being present,” she admits. “I went through a severe depression this year, with such doubt and darkness around this, but going on tour reminded me that I’m human and perfection is a dangerous thing to aspire for. I’d rather be celebrated for who I am.”
“It’s not just a hobby or a side-project. I have a really strong vision for where I want to go next”
Jenna McDougall
“I feel so much more Australian than I used to,” she continues. “I’ve started to realise how much I didn’t feel like I had peers in my own country or women around me when Tonight Alive first started out. I didn’t have a name for the loneliness of that at the time because I was so busy telling people I didn’t experience sexism in the industry or describing myself as a tomboy as a defence. Now, though, it feels incredible to have women around this project and be part of a scene in my own country for the first time.”
As well as taking spiritual and emotional inspiration from Alanis Morrisette, there are moments across ‘Wild Wild Heart’ that remind Jenna of her Mum. “There’s such a warm, nurturing, all-encompassing energy about being sung to by your mother. If I can have a maternal, nurturing energy in my performance, well, that’s a lovely thing to offer and receive.”
The day Jenna went into the studio to record the first Heavenshe single ‘No One Will Ever Love You’ was the same day she had a phone call with the rest of Tonight Alive about reuniting. The release of her ‘Wild Wild Heart’ EP comes as the band have been announced for next year’s When We Were Young Festival, where they will be playing second album ‘The Other Side’ in full. “It’s hard to get five people to want the same thing, especially after all these years,” admits Jenna, with nothing else planned beyond that festival slot. Yet, anyway.
“The more we try to define what the reunion is, the harder it gets. Will there be new music? Will there be a tour? We really don’t do well with those conversations as a band because they just create too much pressure, but I’m so ecstatic that we have something as a band to look forward to again, even if it’s just a short-lived shooting star moment,” says Jenna. “It’ll be a celebration, even if there’s still mystery around it.”
She won’t be abandoning Heavenshe, though. “This is me now. My aspiration is just to release as much music as possible. I do it for the exchange I get with the community. I’m all-in on both Heavenshe and Tonight Alive. I think they can coexist quite harmoniously,” she adds with a grin. “I guess we’ll find out next year.” ■
Taking Back Sunday’s album ‘157’ is out now. Follow Upset’s Spotify playlist here.
==============================
Image
==============================
URL
==============================
Source
Dork
==============================
Full content
[#item_full_content]